My Weekend in Las Vegas

I know that “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”, but I guess I’ll deviate from the rule for the sake of this blog entry.

My reason for the trip to Vegas was due to a gig booked for the band that I play in (Matthew West). I was eagerly looking forward to our trip since I had never been there before. The first thing that I noticed that clued me into the fact that I was setting foot on a whole new culture was the slot machines that greeted me as I exited the plane. For the next 48 hours I was bombarded with the not so subtle message that infinite happiness was just as close as a quarter in the ever-present slot machine. If you think that our free market system over stimulates you with messages about what to buy, where to go and how to live, Vegas is all that on steroids. My first thought when driving to our hotel was “Whoa, welcome to over stimulation and sensory overload”.

In terms of gambling, my wife Kim gave me a $20 dollar allowance for “entertainment gambling”. I thought this was fairly generous move on her part since she is not a huge fan of flushing money down the toilet. I was determined to squeeze as much entertainment value out of my gambling allowance as I could. I decided to dive in on Saturday morning. I spent the first $5 on quarter slots with less than satisfactory results, thus I decided to turn to more “human” pursuits at the $5 minimum black jack table with a real dealer and other real people sitting next to you. I set my remaining $15 dollars on the table and the dealer gave me my three $5 chips. Usually most people sit down and lay a hundred or two down on the table just to get started, this being the case I knew I had “rookie” or “cheap skate” written on my forehead. Insecurity abounded, but I attempted to look cool like a real Vegas pro, akin to Vince Vaughn in “Swingers”. I started slow and was betting only one chip at a time and before I knew it my $15 had turned into $45! Not bad for a gambling virgin from Iowa. This is when the greed and cockiness set in and I started betting, not one, but two at a time. I know, I’m wild. Much to my dismay, my $45 was turned into a big fat $0 in about 10 minutes. I guess Kenny was right when he said, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em”.

Vegas would be a very dangerous place for me since I can tend to have a bit of an obsessive personality at times. After I lost my $20 I really wanted to quickly go and find the nearest ATM and get another one, but fear of a stern rebuke from my beloved bride upon my arrival at home deterred me from my fleshly pursuit. I know that left unchecked I could really get into gambling. I could taste the lure and quickly understood why it is a multi-billion dollar industry in our country.

That afternoon we played our show in the dry Vegas April heat to a decent crowd outside the arena where Nevada-Las Vegas holds their sporting events. From there we went back to the hotel to shower up and catch a quick nap. Around 6:30 we headed over to the Belagio for the world famous buffet. As we were gathering in the lobby our fearless leader, Matthew West, was trying his luck on the dollar slots. Our drummer and I were chatting a bit when from around the corner a frenzied Matthew motioned us to get the heck over there quick! Matthew put three one-dollar bills in. The first two… nothing, the third… $300. He was ecstatic. From there on out the five us of band mates felt like five high rolling Vegas mafia mobsters. Matthew got his picture taken with the cashier lady handing him his three crisp one hundred dollar bills and called everyone he could think of to tell his exciting Vegas news. From there it was on to the world renown Belagio Buffet.

Our walk over to the Belagio was marred with Latino men attempting to hand us pornographic business cards for call girls. They are all over the place and everywhere you walk the ground is littered with these cards. You can’t get away from it on the strip, it’s pretty depressing. “Don’t look down” was what we kept reminding ourselves. Sex sells all over the world, but it seemed to me that Vegas might be the world capital. On a similar note, breast augmentation also seems to be the norm for many more women that one would usually see. I guess superficiality reigns high on the throne in Vegas. For those fighting for purity of thought and believing the blessing of God’s promises about sexuality, Vegas does not serve to help the fight.

When we got to the Belagio Buffet we waited in a line for about 45 minutes. The line was very similar to one you would find at any amusement Park, but instead of getting to ride Space Mountain we were waiting to indulge in some of the finest food that Vegas had to offer. After Matthew coughed up probably about half of his recent gambling earnings the five of us were seated at our table. The buffet truly lived up to the hype and when we got our plates to start loading up we almost didn’t know where to start. Keeping with the theme of over stimulation, the buffet offered more tantalizing treats than you could ever hope to ingest in one meal. That said, we gave it our best shot. Lobster, king crab, lamb, prime rib, all sorts of fish, and list goes on and on. It was amazing and we left thankful for the blessing of great food and a generous employer who pays. From there we perused the casino of the Belagio and saw guys with literally $50,000 sitting in front of them on the black jack table, a great jazz piano duo, more implants, and the magnificently and stunningly beautiful garden of flowers in the lobby.

From there I was off to bed, since I had a big week ahead. All in all it was a good trip, but Vegas is probably going to be one of those places that I won’t be all that concerned about visiting again anytime soon. If you don’t have a ton of money to blow, Vegas is really not a great place to go. All the food is very expensive, the shows are at least $100 a ticket for the good ones and you won’t last long gambling unless you are willing to unload some serious green. I’m glad I got to experience it but welcome the return to real life and real love with my wife and kids.