A Backward Porn Addiction is when a woman, or man for that matter, presents herself in such a way that she draws attention to her appearance. She is not actively pursuing porn, but she is doing it in a backward kind of way.
One of the more seductive problems with this kind of heinous thinking is that she can feel smug or self-righteous in her judgments of a man who aggressively or openly pursues porn. Her addiction is more subtle, thus the reasoning could run along these lines:
Guys are sleazy. They disgust me the way they gawk at women.While her assessment may be crass but true, do you think dressing provocatively-subtle is more spiritual, biblical, and honoring to God? If so, then you’re a legalist who is hair-splitting. While the two porn addictions are going in different directions, both of them corrupt the soul and rob God of His due glory.
Typically a Backward Porn Addiction manifests itself in two ways:
Women comparing themselves with women
Women competing or craving for the gaze of a man
He gives some good questions for women to ponder:
- When you get dressed in the morning do you think about God’s gaze upon you or someone else’s?
- Do you dress to put God’s name on display or your physicality on display?
- How does the glory of God impact your thought life when it comes to your appearance?
- Would your friends or spouse say you are overly-concerned about how you look?
- Can you go to the store and really not care how you look?
- Are you free to not wear make-up?
- Do you secretly compare yourself to other women?
- What feeds your thinking more: How the culture views beauty? How God views beauty?
2 comments:
Wasn't there a big to-do in the blogosphere recently about how women are supposed to put on lipstick and try to be beautiful? I wonder how these two views relate to each other. Sounds like we're telling women to be pretty, but not too pretty. Care, but not too much. What an impossible tightrope!
And this is coming awfully close to blaming women for men's sins. Not buying it.
Sara,
Yes, there was a bit thing on quite a few blogs in recent months dealing with the issue you laid out. I think it's a both/and. The issue is not so much beauty or not, but what is the emphasis? Where does a woman's heart land? Where does her husband's heart land?
This in no way is blaming women for men's sins, but it is to say that in God's community, the church, we should seek to serve each other in love. Men fight lust and women can fight the temptation to seek affirmation based on externals alone.
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