A Powerful Testimony In The Midst of Deep Suffering

David Murray:

This is one of the most moving and instructive testimonies I’ve ever heard, with some great advice here too about how to minister to and counsel suffering people.

Kay Warren: A Year of Grieving Dangerously

Powerful interview by Timothy C. Morgan here.

Comforting Those Who Grieve Deeply

This is a powerful post from David Brooks on how to help people who have suffered greatly at the hands of sinful and broken world.

Please read and take to heart.   There are many gems in this article.  He writes:

I’d say that what these experiences call for is a sort of passive activism. We have a tendency, especially in an achievement-oriented culture, to want to solve problems and repair brokenness — to propose, plan, fix, interpret, explain and solve. But what seems to be needed here is the art of presence — to perform tasks without trying to control or alter the elemental situation. Allow nature to take its course. Grant the sufferers the dignity of their own process. Let them define meaning. Sit simply through moments of pain and uncomfortable darkness. Be practical, mundane, simple and direct.

Ashley and Mary went to Afghanistan a few months after Anna’s death. They remember that as a time out of time. They wept together with Afghan villagers and felt touched by grace. “That period changed me and opened my imagination,” Ashley recalls. “This thing called presence and love is more available than I had thought. It is more ready to be let loose than I ever imagined.”

Read the rest.

H.E.L.P. - How to Minister to Those Grieving

Doug Wolter offers a very helpful acronym for ministering to those who are grieving from the loss of a loved one.

H – Hope not answers. When people are in the midst of suffering, they need hope more than answers. Hope is not found in solving the problem, but running to a person. Jesus. We may not know why everything happens, but we can hope in the person who understands suffering more than anyone and sympathizes with us in it.

E – Enter into their pain. Empathize with them. Did you know that grieving with someone can be the single most helpful expression of love and care? Weep with them. Just be there for them and be with them.

L – Listen to them & Love them in tangible ways. Seek to understand their situation. James 1:19 says, “Be quick to listen and slow to speak.” If you must speak, tell them, “I am standing with you. I am grieving with you.” And love them in tangible ways. Make a meal. Offer a small gift. Spend time with them.

P – Pray for them and Patiently walk w/them through the long journey of suffering. In the deepest of suffering, some may find it hard to even pray. We can intercede for them and carry this burden. And oftentimes, after the initial help has arrived, we forget the one who is suffering over time. But this is when the church is even more needed. To patiently walk with them and be with them through the long road of suffering.

Responding To Grief

A mother's reflection on the tragic death of her daughter.  How do you grieve well?

1. Spend time in God’s word every day.

2. Listen to music that can express what my mouth cannot.

3. Exercise

Click over to read her reflections on these points.

(HT:  Chris Brauns)

Make Way for Lament

Michael Gungor:

There is a tension to the Kingdom of Heaven that is here but not yet here. That tension ought to give way to poetry. To lament. To art. Sure, there is room for some celebration, but if our faith has nothing else to it than positive messages and encouraging clichés, perhaps it has become a Band-Aid rather than a surgery.

Worship music doesn’t need to be medication. Our worship music ought to put us in touch with the deepest places of our humanity, not simply distract us from our pain and put is in a good mood for the preacher’s talk. It ought to stir things deep in us. Hope. Joy. Anger. Mourning. Doubt. Love.

Have you ever had a relationship that never can get past the surface of things? A relationship where the people never talk about anything deeper than the weather or favorite sports teams is not a very deep relationship. The people in a relationship that have never had any disagreements or conflict are those who have kept their true hearts hidden from one another. A Christianity that does not lament is a shallow Christianity. It is a medicinal, numbing balm that we use to avoid living life in a world that is groaning. It is a Band-Aid to cover our wounds. Fig leaves to be sewn over our humanness. And many of us need to be saved from our addiction to this anemic, shallow substitute for Christianity.

Read the rest and then go buy his music.

How To Help The Mom Of A Still-Born Baby

Molly Piper recently wrote a very poignant post dealing with the lost of a still-born baby. It specifically deals with helping those who love these hurting parents to get inside the head of a mom who has just had her whole world turned upside down. It's an insightful read and many of the principles transcend the loss of a child specifically to suffering and loss in general. I commend it to you highly.

You can find Molly's whole series on how to help a grieving friend here.

I Will Wait For You There - Phil Wickam

I am singing this song (iTunes) for the memorial service of a baby of a friend that died after it was delivered at 8 months. As a parent of three little ones when I ponder this experience I can scarcely fathom the pain of an experience such as this. May God grant grace to my friends to endure and to all of us in our season of suffering.

After I listened to the song I can see why they selected it.

Here are the lyrics:

I will wait for You there
Down on my knees where I met You
Give You all of my cares
Find a grace to hold onto now
I’m calling for You

I will wait for You there
far from the world and it’s violence
It left broken and bare
I need to hear You in the silence now
I’m calling for You

And with outstretched arms
I will sing out melodies
And my beating heart
Will pour out a symphony
Hallelujah’s in the morning
Hallelujah’s in the night
I will wait for you as long as I have life

I will wait for You there
Down On my knees where I met you
Cause life is a war fought with tears
But You are the strength I hold onto now
I’m calling for you