Some Fear is Extremely Healthy, Some is Not

Radical.net:

Bonhoeffer points out that a preacher of the gospel will either be motivated or hindered by fear. The question we must ask is what kind of fear characterizes our everyday lives? Bonhoeffer reflecting on Matthew 10:26-28 writes,

They must not fear men. Men can do them no harm, for the power of men ceases with the death of the body. But they must overcome the fear of death with the fear of God. The danger lies not in the judgement of men, but in the judgement of God, not in the death of the body but in the eternal destruction of body and soul. Those who are still afraid of men have no fear of God, and those who have fear of God have ceased to be afraid of men. All preachers of the gospel will do well to recollect this saying daily.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship, 218

Do You Know The Most Frequent Command in the Bible?

Ed Welch:

“Do not be afraid.” Would you believe that this is the most frequent command in the Bible? More than three hundred times God commands his people to not be afraid.

There are two ways to hear these commands. One is, “Stop it right now! Don’t be afraid!” In this case fear and worry would be just plain wrong. It would violate God’s direct command. When afraid or anxious you would confess to the Lord that it is sin—and then confess it again and again.

But there is another way to hear this command.

Have you ever heard a parent say to a child, “Be careful”? Technically, it is a command, yet no child would take it that way. The parent is not saying, “Be careful or you will be in trouble,” but, “I love you and my desire is that you be safe.”

Here is what Jesus says to you: “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32).

This is not an edict from the King. The term “little flock” gives you a window into God’s heart. This is both a plea and an encouraging word from the Father, who knows and loves you. It is exactly what you need because when you are afraid you desperately need someone bigger than yourself in whom you can trust.

"To make your personal mission being liked by everyone in the world sets you up for a life of frustration and depression."

B.J. Stockman:

To make your personal mission being liked by everyone in the world sets you up for a life of frustration and depression. You will end up living your life based upon others expectations and your discernment on what is right and wrong will fly out the window as the litmus test of everything becomes what will and will not make this or that person happy.

The goal of life is not be liked.

Read the rest.

13 Reasons Not To Be Afraid

John Piper:

We will not die apart from God’s gracious decree for his children.

James 4:14-15; Matthew 10:29-30; Deuteronomy 32:39

Curses and divination do not hold sway against God’s people.

Numbers 23:23

The plans of terrorists and hostile nations do not succeed apart from our gracious God.

Psalm 33:10; Isaiah 8:9-10

Man cannot harm us beyond God’s gracious will for us.

Psalm 118:6; Psalm 56:11

God promises to protect his own from all that is not finally good for them.

Psalm 91:14

God promises to give us all we need to obey, enjoy, and honor him forever.

Matthew 6:31; Philippians 4:19

God is never taken off guard.

Psalm 121:4

God will be with us, help us, and uphold us in trouble.

Isaiah 41:10, 13

Terrors will come, some of us will die, but not a hair of our heads will perish.

Luke 21:10–11, 18

Nothing befalls God’s own but in its appointed hour.

John 7:30

When God Almighty is your helper, none can harm you beyond what he decrees.

Hebrews 13:6; Romans 8:31

God’s faithfulness is based on the firm value of his name, not the fickle measure of our obedience.

1 Samuel 12:20–22

The Lord, our protector, is great and awesome.

Nehemiah 4:14

Gospel Implications

Jonathan Leeman:

Don't be afraid of people who will make fun of you for being a Christian. Don't be afraid of those who might persecute you. Don't be afraid of losing your job, your family, or your life. Be strong and courageous. God alone is to be feared. Obey him.

Often it's our fear of the world that lies behind our disobedience. We fear what we might lose: our reputation, our money, our job, our safety, our lusts, our ambitions, even our life. So we try to take control of our circumstances and do whatever it takes to hold on to what we want.

Knowing that God is generous and faithful to his promises helps us be strong and courageous because we can trust his character as we pour out our lives for him.

This means that as Christians, we can be generous with our money and time, knowing that God cares for us and will provide for us. Don't worry!

This means we can take the gospel to tough neighborhoods and hostile nations, knowing that God will keep his promises---that his sheep in those neighborhoods and nations will hear his voice and that nothing can separate us from his love. Don't fear!

This means that we can have the courage to be faithful as parents and as spouses, doing what is right in those relationships day after day, even though the results are not always visible.Don't be anxious! Take courage.

Read the rest.


Books by Jonathan Leeman:

• Church Membership: How the World Knows Who Represents Jesus
• The Church and the Surprising Offense of God's Love: Reintroducing the Doctrines of Church Membership and Discipline
• Church Discipline: How the Church Protects the Name of Jesus
• Reverberation: How God's Word Brings Light, Freedom, and Action to His People

"You see, real freedom is not liberty to do what we want or the absence of distress. Real freedom is the deep-seated confidence that no matter what, God really will provide everything we need."

Jon Bloom:

You see, real freedom is not liberty to do what we want or the absence of distress. Real freedom is the deep-seated confidence that no matter what, God really will provide everything we need (Philippians 4:19). The person who believes this is the freest of all persons on earth, because no matter what situation they find themselves in, they have nothing to fear (Philippians 4:11). 

But the only way for sinners like us with a bent toward unbelief in God to find this kind of freedom is by experiencing repeatedly God’s delivering power and his faithfulness. That’s why we are to count it all joy when we meet trials of various kinds (James 1:2). These trials are setting us free. 

God’s word to you through this story, in all the crises you face, is this: “Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God’s” (2 Chronicles 20:15).

Read the rest.


Recommended Resources:

• When People are Big and God is Small
• Running Scared

They Unlocked The Door

“It is noteworthy [in Acts chapter 2] that the disciples, who appear to have been hiding away from their enemies in the spirit of John 20:19, immediately became different people. They unlocked their door, and went down to the most public place they could find and there preached Jesus boldly. This change from cringing cowards to fearless preachers was permanent. We read of Christians making all sorts of mistakes afterwards, and they are far from being perfect. But we do not again read of them hiding away for fear of men. The Spirit altered all that. From now on they became fearless vehicles of the Spirit in proclaiming to men the message of the gospel.”

 - Leon Morris, Spirit of the Living God p, 53.

(HT: Ray O.)

Gospel Fellowship

Dane Ortlund with a great reflection on how justification relates to our personal relationships.

Why Was Jesus Unintimidated by Pilate?

Great meditation here by John Piper, for those, like me, who wrestle with fear.

4 Debilitating Fears

Paul Tripp:

1. Fear of me
2. Fear of others
3. Fear of circumstances
4. Fear of the future

This article is written for pastors but the application is for everyone. It's VERY helpful.

Fear

Paul Tripp:

Fear can overwhelm your senses. It can distort your thinking. It can kidnap your desires. It can capture your meditation so that you spend more time worrying about what could be than considering the God who is. Fear can cause you to make bad decisions in the short term and fail to make good decisions in the long run. Fear can cause you to forget what you know and to lose sight of who you are. Fear can make you wish for control you will never have. It can cause you to distrust people you have reason to trust. It can cause you to be demanding rather than serving. It can cause you to run when you should stay and to stay when you really should run. Fear can make God look small and your circumstance loom large. Fear can make you seek from people what you will only get from the Lord. Fear can be the soil of your deepest questions and your biggest doubts. Your heart was wired to fear, because you were designed for life shaped by fear of God. But horizontal fear cannot be allowed to rule your heart, because if it does, it will destroy you and your ministry.

Read the rest.

When Good Desires Morph Into Idolatry

[Many] desires are normal and natural and become sinful only by abuse. Good and lawful desires become corrupted when they are desired inordinately. When you want something good (such as desiring your spouse to love you, or your children to honor you, or your boss to treat you with respect) so much that you are willing to sin in order to fulfill your desire (or to sin as a result of your desire not being fulfilled), your desire becomes idolatrous. Such desires are sinful not because some new verse suddenly appeared in your Bible that says, ‘You shall not want your spouse to love you,’ or ‘You shall not desire your children to honor you,’ or ‘You shall not try to please your boss.’ They are wrong because you have longed for them too intently. What may have begun as a legitimate God-given desire has now metastasized and mutated into an inordinate one.

- Lou Priolo, Pleasing People, p. 37

(HT:  Joe Crispin)

These Two Paragraphs Could Change Your Life

When my kingdom is at stake - my reputation, my quest for being loved - there is much to lose.  Out of fear I commit myself to self-protection.  Does this sound familiar?  When the things we value are threatened, we protect them.  In this case it is the same as protecting ourselves.  The alternative is to lose my kingdom and be a simple servant of the Most High God.  His kingdom is never threatened because he is all-powerful and he doesn't need anything from us.  He calls us to love and worship him, but he doesn't need it in the sense that we talk about needing love and affirmation.  

This should sound liberating to those who are in bondage to the fear of other people.  When we see ourselves as kings who need affection, we are highly vulnerable.  But as children and servants, we owe a debt of love to others.  We were loved by God more than we loved him; there will always be that imbalance in our relationship.  The only appropriate and healthy response is to treat others the way God has treated us.  The result?  People's (perceived) opinions don't have the same power to crush us anymore.  Instead, we are less concerned about how we are treated and more concerned with how we treat others.  Rejection may still hurt, but it won't control us.  

- Ed Welch, Running Scared, p. 188, 189

Love More Than Need

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved or wanting a good reputation.  We should want both.  It would be inhuman not to.  As citizens of the kingdom, our good reputation honors the King and, having been loved by the King, we certainly delight in being loved.  The problem comes when we want these things too much, when we want them for our own glory rather than God's.

Notice how human desires go topsy-turvy when we stray outside God's kingdom.  As kingdom residents, we have been loved with an everlasting love and we have the privilege of loving other as we have been loved.  We stand in the shadow of Jesus, who revealed what human life was intended to be.  He loved others even when he wasn't loved.  Jesus shows us that to be truly human means that our desire to love others outdistances our desire to be loved ourselves.  True humanness is found more in a sacrificial love for our enemies than in being the object of another person' affections.  Yet we often live as though the opposite were true.  Without adequate human love, we feel paralyzed to love.  We want to be filled with the love of others before we move out in love towards others.  This is normal for us, but normal does not mean that it is either right or true.  At root, our yearing for love and acceptance from other people (when it is more important than loving and accepting others) is evidence of allegiances to ourselves.  We prefer to be king rather than serve the King.

But if we serve the King, our desire to be loved could not outdistance our commitment to love others in his name.  Our own approbation would seem almost meaningless, irrelevant.  Rejection would hurt, but it wouldn't sidetrack us from our mission of love.

- Ed Welch,  Running Scared, p. 178, 179

Reflections of a Hard-Core Home School Dad

This article has been making the rounds. Reb Bradley gives 10 points of reflection on his years of leading a family that home schools. All ten points are very important for all of us to read, not just home schoolers. But this conclusion was the most impactful for me.

Our Story
When my oldest son was almost 16 we let him get his first job washing dishes at a restaurant managed by a Christian friend of ours. As diehard shelterers we wrestled with whether or not our son was ready to enter the world's workforce. We knew we couldn't shelter him forever, and so finally concluded that he should be old enough to send into the world two nights a week. What we didn't realize was that he would be working with drug-using, tattooed, partiers, and our Christian friend was never scheduled to work our son's shift.

Within a month it became apparent that our son's new work associates were having an effect on him. He came home one evening and asked, "Dad, can I dye my hair blue?" After my wife was finally able to peal me off the ceiling, I laid into him, reminding him whose son he was, and that I would not have people at church telling their children not to be like the pastor's son. I explained that just because he wanted to use washable dye, it didn't make me any happier. (Note that my intense reaction had to do with "outward appearances" and the impact on me.)

Of course, my wife and I immediately began to evaluate whether we had made a mistake by letting him take the job. After an intense discussion we decided to coach him more carefully and let him keep his job.

Two months later he came home from work and asked me if he could pierce his ear. Again, my wife had to peal me off the ceiling. He thought it might be okay since he wanted a cross earring -- like I was supposed to be happy, because it would be a "sanctified" piercing. If that wasn't enough, he also wanted to get a tattoo! But it was going to be okay, because it would be a Christian tattoo!

As I was looking back on this experience several years later, something my son said shortly after he started his job kept coming back to me. When I picked him up the second night of work, he got in the car with a big smile on his face and said "They like me!" As I dwelt on that comment, it suddenly came clear to me - my son had finally met someone who liked him for who he was. Few others in his entire life had shown him much acceptance, especially not his mother and I. It is no exaggeration - in our efforts to shape and improve him, all we did was find fault with everything he did. We loved him dearly, but he constantly heard from us that what he did (who he was) wasn't good enough. He craved our approval, but we couldn't be pleased. Years later, I realized he had given up trying to please us when he was 14, and from then on he was just patronizing us.

The reason our son wanted to adorn himself like his work associates, was because they accepted him for who he was. He wanted to fit in with those who made him feel significant. He wanted to be like those who gave him a sense of identity. The problem wasn't one that could be solved by extended sheltering - he could have been sheltered until he was 30 and he still would have been vulnerable. The problem was that we had sent our son into the world insecure in who he was. He went into the world with a hole in his heart that God had wanted to fill through his parents.

Whether believer or unbeliever, those young people who are least tempted to follow the crowd are those who are secure in themselves and don't need the approval of others. The Bible calls insecurity the fear of man - it is allowing other's opinions of us to affect our values and choices.

The Solution
In the Bible we see that people obeyed God for two reasons - fear and love. King David sang of his love for God (Ps 18:1; 116:1; 119:159) and he also sang of the fear of God (Ps 2:11; 22:25; 33:8). God wants His followers to be drawn to Him out of love (Jer 31:3), and that's why it is His kindness that leads us to repentance (Rom 2:4). But He also wants us to be kept on the path by fear of His authority (Luke 12:5; 1 Pet 2:17). That's why He told the Israelites He wanted both their fear and their love; "And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul" (Deut 10:12). With our children, it should be the same.

Those who have the most power to influence our hearts are those to whom we are drawn: those who succeed with our values (which is what a hero is), those who can benefit us, those who make us feel valuable, and those who have earned our respect.

If our children grow up motivated only by fear of consequence, they will eventually get away with what they can whenever we are not around (Eph 6:6). If we have their hearts they will seek to honor us whether we are present or not, and their hearts will remain open to our influence.

I refer you to the apostle Paul who modeled this approach to leadership perfectly, "Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I appeal to you on the basis of love..." (Phile 1:8-9a). Paul's pattern with the churches suggests he understood that appeals to love were more powerful than commands and threats.

Conclusion
I am convinced that the most contagious parenting is living a heartfelt faith before your children. Fruitful interaction is not about what you do to your young people, but who you are with them. It's about having a real faith in God, and expressing it in a real relationship with a real person--not about methods and self-working principles. God intends that the side-effect of loving Jesus and enjoying the grace of the gospel will be that all people--including our children--will be touched by the Savior in us. I pray in Jesus' name that as you read these words you will experience the grace of God in a fresh and new way.

Read the whole thing.  

The Connection Between Fear and Worry

Do you see the connection with fear and worry? Keep the fear/need connection in mind. Whatever you think you need will control you. If you need something from other people - love, acceptance, approval - they hold the keys to something very valuable to you. You will live in fear that they might not deliver. You will fear those who are the gatekeepers to the fulfillment of your needs.

Why do adults fear a little extra weight? Health is rarely the issue. The real issue is what you will think of me. Why do so many people fear public speaking more than death? The opinions of other human beings are by far the scariest thing on the planet.

- Ed Welch, Running Scared: Fear, Worry & the God of Rest, p. 173, 174

Interview with Tullian Concerning Church Merger Controversy

Here is the interview.  Money quote:

I’ve never seen the transforming work of the Gospel happen so quickly and tangibly as I have over the last four months or so. Personally, I’ve been changed and transformed by the Gospel. For instance, I never knew just how dependent I’d become on human approval and acceptance until God took it away. Through this painful trial, God helped me rediscover the freedom that Jesus plus nothing equals everything!

Read the whole interview.

(HT:  @DashHouse)