Helpful post here written for women, but certainly applies to men as well. These are such important reminders for us as we navigate a culture of external appearances.
Lie #1: Your body is decorative. It should be used to attract the attention of men and the envy of women. What matters most is how it looks.
Lie #2: Your body's appearance is flawed but fixable. You are not the right size, shape, or color. But you can (and should) go to enormous effort and expense to change that.
Lie #3: Your body is a source of power. It can and should be trained, toned, and preserved from all signs of age. Its level of attractiveness or strength can and should be leveraged to give you dominance over and independence from others.
Lie #4: Your body is yours. You are its owner. You may neglect it, obsess over it, indulge it, punish it, pamper it, or alter it as you wish.
Lie #5: Transforming the outside will fix the inside.
Her amazing letter to Miley Cyrus here. She'll surely get blasted for moralizing. I hope Katy Perry was copied on it.
Of course from a Christian perspective it doesn't go far enough, but this letter would be a great bridge to talk about the image of God instilling us with inherent value and worth. You can't prostitute the image of God and have any soul left. It's tragic but Sinéad is exactly right. The music industry is laughing all the way to the bank.
(FYI: She uses some saucy language to make her point.)
a reticence or hesitance to affirm and celebrate women’s contributions in local church ministry, particularly contributions that are more up-front and visible.=
a warped vision of manhood that focuses on calloused hands and physical labor and ignores other kinds of work.
the assumption that marriage is always better than singleness, so that singles feel like their identity is wrapped up in not having a spouse.
unwillingness to celebrate any evidence of gospel ministry or fruit among those with a more egalitarian viewpoint.
an unexpressed expectation that the godliest women have quiet and introverted personality types, and cannot be assertive and outgoing.
a competitive tendency that leads to unhealthy individual comparisons and rushed judgments, rather than extending grace to one another.
a spectrum of “holy” and “holier” choices with regard to a child’s education (from public school all the way to homeschooling).
Read the rest of his post that touched on some larger issues.
Let me put this very clearly: if, however unwittingly and unintentionally, I ever give my little girl the impression that her worth is found in her looks, beauty, and hotness, tie a millstone around my neck. I can’t ever teach my son the American myth that he’s valuable only if he’s a three-sport, twelve-letter athlete who doesn’t stagger after a concussion, and I can’t ever teach my daughter that she’s valuable only if men covet her and lust after her.
Perhaps I am revving at high RPMs here, but really, I can’t think of much else that I could do that would more harm my little girl, or children who are under my ministry.
We dads love our little girls. They are unspeakably precious to us. God has saved us from Satan’s deception regarding women. We cannot value them, as lost men just like us do, because of their figure and their prettiness. We’re not blind to beauty, and as they grow up we likely won’t teach our little girls some sort of “paper-bag” version of their body. We don’t at all want girls to feel any shame about being distinctly womanly. It was God’s mind, not Hugh Hefner’s, that came up with manly and womanly attractiveness. We’re not ashamed about that; we’re not prudes; we should carefully but honestly help our daughters see their womanliness as a gift of God, not anything else. If they grow up to be attractive, we’ll help them appropriately handle that, and we’ll even train them to see their own beauty as reflective of the One who is beauty.
His beauty, though visually stunning, is of course preeminently spiritual. It is the beauty of holiness, the apex of beauty.
In all this teaching, we guard our little girls. We show them that though a sinful world claws at them to define themselves physically, we will never do so. We cannot do so. Their worth is in their embodiment of God’s image. Their worth is, hopefully, in their union with Jesus Christ. We love them dearly, and we fathers will walk through fire and rain to help our little girls, but their worth is not actually found in us. It’s in God, and his good work in them.
That, my friends, is language worth repeating, over and over and over again.
So the question is, which definition should we use? It's fine for you to argue that your definition of "two people who love each other" is better than my definition of "one man, one woman," or someone else's definition of "one man, multiple women," but we need to start off by understanding that we're arguing definitions, not rights.
Interesting reflections here having to do with culture wars. Alan Burrow writes:
Have you noticed how the culture war flash points are all sexual? Abortion, gay marriage, gender interchangeability, sex education, pornography, no fault divorce, all of these are connected to sex and sexuality. This shocks Christians, but it shouldn’t. It is not only predictable, it is inevitable. You see, there is an embedded creational link between sexuality and spirituality. We were created for monogamy in both, and when a society loses one, it won’t be long before it loses the other. Why? Because God would have it so.
According to the United Nations, up to 200 million females are missing because of gendercide—victims of a systematic, methodical extermination of a gender. Incredibly, India and China eliminate more girls than are born in the U.S. every year. This has created a severe gender imbalance in the affected countries; to deal with it, women from other countries are kidnapped and forced into sexual slavery, or forced to live as wives to men who cannot find them in their own countries. Women forced to abort their babies often commit suicide.
To bring attention to this horrific problem, documentary filmmakers and human rights groups created a film titled “It's a Girl.” It tells the stories of women who are pressured to literally kill for a son, and of mothers who would do anything to save their daughters. It follows the lives of unwanted girls, who are abandoned and trafficked.
"Brutally honest" may be an overused phrase in book reviewing, but I think it applies here. This book begins with its then 36 year old author enjoying her role as a high-achieving lesbian doyenne of Queer Theory, a "tenured radical" in the liberal arts at a large research university in New York. From there, it charts her exposure to gospel truth, the comprehensive chaos that followed as Christ called her to be his disciple, and the sweeping sanctification and sincere service that followed that. Writing about and wrestling with things as only an English professor with a predilection for the Romantic can, with a strong capacity for self-analysis and a transparency that is bracing, Mrs Butterfield records this journey from the perspective of a felt outsider suddenly drawn into the kingdom and eventually (as the wife of a church planting pastor in the Reformed Presbyterian Church) on the frontline of its battles. That she does so honestly but not pruriently is one of the strengths of this book: she is clear and blunt without ever being coarse. There are points at which Mrs Butterfield wields her vorpal sword to slay whole herds of sacred cattle simultaneously, and I responded with a hearty "Amen!" far more often than with a stifled "Aargh!", enjoying her boldness even when wishing to push back against her conclusions. Too often Christians seek to win to Christ people who are just like them, who fit their notions of what churchgoers ought to be. Rosaria Butterfield prompts us to think more humbly about what it means to be an effective witness in an increasingly Corinthian society, with real insights into the world (not just the homosexual culture) and the church from both sides. This is a genuinely refreshing read by a woman who, it seems, states and sacrificially acts on her thoughtful and deeply-held convictions with characteristic boldness. I should love to debate with her about all kind of things, but I hope I have also learned from this sobering, provocative and joyful testimony. (I am sure that a homeschooling English professor like the author is disappointed by a significant number of errors in the text that will, I hope, be corrected in future printings.)
Chick-fil-A doesn’t belong in Boston. You can’t have a business in the city of Boston that discriminates against a population. We’re an open city, we’re a city that’s at the forefront of inclusion. That’s the Freedom Trail. That’s where it all started right here. And we’re not going to have a company, Chick-fil-A or whatever the hell the name is, on our Freedom Trail… If they need licenses in the city, it will be very difficult — unless they open up their policies.
Apparently, Christian business owners are no longer allowed to express religious opinions in Boston if they run crosswise with the Mayor’s views on marriage. If that doesn’t send a chill down your spine, I don’t know what will. Again, the irony appears to be lost on the good mayor, who also fails to recognize that nothing Dan Cathy says indicates that homosexual persons will in any way be discriminated against at Chick-fil-a.
Do you see how this is going? You don’t even have to mention homosexuality or gay marriage. All you have to say is that you are pro-family, and certain municipalities will exile your business. Welcome to the brave new world of tolerance.
Friends, remember, no matter what, the sky is not falling. It may grow much worse than this. But the church and mission marches on because God's word never fails. Suffering may be endured. Welcome to Christianity.
My firstborn is a total daddy’s girl, a free and brilliant spirit with boundless energy and courage and curiosity, a pseudo-tomboy who likes the Little Mermaid but loves to play in the mud on the riverbank. Although she won’t (yet) squish bugs between her fingers, she loves to wrestle and she thinks fart noises are the height of comic genius. I would have enjoyed watching my son beat the other boys in sports, but I’m really going to enjoy watching my daughter beat the boys at sports. Even if they were not athletic or high-spirited, however, both my girls (like their beautiful mother) have me charmed me body and soul.
Every man should have a daughter, if only for his own sanctification. If a daughter comes your way, know the truth that she will love you with all her heart if you let her. Cherish her, and she will be a daddy’s girl. Love her, and your heart will expand to encompass the immensity of her soul. Sacrifice yourself for her, and soon you will discover that you will do just about anything to make her happy. Even if it requires you to grow up a little.
Strategically, it makes no sense to give in to this idea that there’s somehow something a little queasier about having an abortion for gender than, say, for money. These are equally legitimate reasons (or, if you are on the other side, equally illegitimate). One might make you uncomfortable in your gut, but it can’t make the movement hesitate. Because that hesitation—that pause of, well, yes this one is complicated, or, as Amanda says, this one is "unpleasant to contemplate"—makes it that much easier for so many of those other reasons (money, timing, work) to seem a little not-OK too.
Also, let’s just remember that we are talking about fetuses. No matter how many ultrasound pics get posted to Facebook, these are fetuses with female genitals or male genitals—not little girls and little boys. If pro-choicers object to aborting because of the sex of the fetus, aren’t we then saying that abortion is “murdering” girls? Aren’t we basically arguing that a fetus is not a blank slate but a future possibility? That is not the case to make if your goal is to protect abortion rights. Gulp for a second if you must, then get over it.
Side note: She brings up the word "anti-choice" quite a bit in her article. Just remember that when you get called "anti-choice" it helps to bring up:
1. We are all about choice, just not the right for a mother to killer her toddler. "Who said we are talking about toddlers?" will be the response. Right. Now explain to me the difference between a toddler and a baby in utero.
2. We are not "anti-choice". We are all about choice! And would love to allow the smallest member of the human family in the uterus to have the opportunity to be able to make choices for herself.
Clint Wagnon reviews Act of Valor. His conclusion:
Many men will watch Act of Valor and be exhilarated by the action, but remain oblivious to the message. Like X-Box warriors whose lives are filled with jabber but vacant of valor, the language of courage, faithfulness and brotherly love will be lost on them to the pyrotechnics on the screen. SEALs live (and die) by their Code. Leading and being led. Respect for one another and authority. Integrity, responsibility for actions, and “Loyalty beyond reproach.” Honor on the battlefield and off. Devotion to team and teammate. A love that lays down its life for a friend. And, of course, a heart for home. These things will mock warrior-wannabes as they experience valor the only way they know how–vicariously, sitting in front of a flat screen or watching other men do what they simply refuse: live a life of faithfulness and honor.
Some men will see this movie with their buddies, grab some beers afterward while glorying in what they just watched, and then go about wasting their lives. But a few will witness what is already wired in their hearts to do–answer the call to be the leader and lover he was created to be. That Christ died that they could be. A few will become that honorable man. A few will be that faithful brother. But only a few.
"Please, sir, may I have some different?" It's not "more" the average young guy wants today, it's different.
Psychologist Philip Zimbardo describes drug addiction as "wanting more," but guys today have what he calls arousal addiction, always "wanting something different." This never-ending stream of stimulation is behind the growing failure of males to connect with women socially or to succeed academically. They're dropping out of life.
Zimbardo cites excessive internet use, video gaming, and online porn as causes of this new addiction. By age 21, boys spend 10,000 hours gaming, two-thirds of that time in isolation. The average young man watches 50 porn clips per week.
"Boys' brains are being digitally rewired in a totally new way, for change, novelty, excitement, and constant arousal," Zimbardo says. "They're totally out of sync in traditional classes, which are analog, static, and interactively passive. And they're totally out of sync in relationships, which build gradually and subtly." This is creating a generation of young men who do not connect well in traditional teaching situations and who lack social skills especially with women.
