Kim and I are working very hard on being the kind of parents who communicate very intentionally beyond words how much we love our kids. Meaning, do we spend actual quantity and quality time with our kids? My three year old loves to play trains. How often to I met him on his terms instead of mine and get on the floor and play trains with him? Easy for 3 minutes, not for 30, which is what he likes and needs. It is amazing how when I give him this kind of attention how much better he is behaved generally speaking.
At the same time we are working very hard at being the kind of parents who are very direct and consistent with our discipline. I am dying not to be the kind of parent (as I am sometimes) that just yells and yells and warns and warns but never follows through. All that teaches my kids is that Daddy just yells and is angry at them alot, but never really acts on what he says he is going to. Indirectly, he learns that Daddy is a liar. He does not do what he says he is going to do. Very destructive for our kids. We are trying very hard to be quiet and calm in our disciplilne, but quick and sure at the same time. I don't want our home to turn into a concentration camp, but in the early formative years I think this is very important to be this consistent. What a joy to see the fruit of this in our childrens brief lives thus far. We fail all the time and I find myself confessing to Kim, "There was an instance today when I was a bad parent" but we are striving for this with all our dependant and prayerful might.
I think marrying these two approaches can be a powerful combination in the lives of our kids.
Better sign off and go play legos...
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