There are many times when I am asked to partake in something that I really have no desire for, I quickly revert to the every present trump card of, "Sorry...I just don't have time". Now let's be honest, this is a dishonest statement most of the time. We have all the time in the world! If someone told me that if I drove to California right now to simply pick up a briefcase of $50K in cash, I would easily, "make time" to go and get this done.
I would submit for the sake of greater authenticity in our relationships and for the sake of more genuine honesty in our lives to not use this statement unless we really mean it. Wouldn't it be revolutionary to actually say what we mean with a phrase like, "Sorry, I am just choosing to not make that a priority right now"? I know this may sound extremely arrogant and completely lacking of any refined social grace but isn't it the most honest?
I know that pure honesty always has to be tempered with a healthy dose of discernment and wisdom and at times the phase “I don’t have time” is actually true, but as I ponder this right now I think I would have much greater respect for someone who could look me in the eye and say, “Sorry, that I just not something I can make a priority right now in my life”, than one who basically lies for the sake of softening the blow. In the end, being real with people will bear the most fruit.
Just something to think about…
4 comments:
Amen, brother! I agree that this is not only a good authentic and honest practice for us, but also a "teachable" process to put in people's hands of actually prioritizing all the stuff in their lives. If people felt free to say "no" to things that aren't a priority to them at this time, they wouldn't have to lie and say, "I just don't have time." If we can help cultivate that sense of freedom by giving them (and ourselves) some margin, then in the long run I believe people would start making some better priority choices. Without that freedom then they just load themselves up with all kinds of activities until they can actually honestly say, "I just don't have time."
Z, great reminder. We need to realize that it's really a matter of choices and prioritizing rather than not having the time. Our planners show what we value similar to our bank statements.
We are also responsible for the time that we waste. Nothing flips my switch like someone who never says yes to doing anything because the "don't have time" while I see them pilfering their life away at the boob tube or internet. Of course, I'm guilty of spending an inordinate amount of time at work and thereby minimizing time with family and church. Argh! Spot
It seems the underlying challenge for me is to know where I'm headed. Jesus came with direction as in Luke 4 and He said that He only did and said what the Father told Him-and that came from much prayer. My need is to take the time to pray and get direction from Him so that I know where I'm headed. Only then can I honestly respond.
I'm not sure I agree. Rather than saying someone is "lying" when they say they don't have time to do it, I think it's more charitable to recognize that we often speak in short hand on these sorts of things. E.g., "I just don't have time" is an abbreviated way of saying "I just don't have time to fulfill this request given the previous commitments I've made in my life right now--in other words, saying yes to this commitment would be breaking a previous commitment." So understood in this light, it's hardly dishonest or deceitful to say such a thing.
I'd go on, but I don't have time to right now.
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