The Chuch and "Cool" People

Their names were Patrick Crane and Tony Dutcher.

Patrick was a poor kid who was raised by his Dad. I remember his Dad always wore an old jean jacket and smelled like cigarettes. For some reason I remember one specific cold Iowa day when some kids where standing around before school and Patrick didn't have a winter coat that was sufficient to withstand the cold. His Dad probably couldn't afford to buy him one.

Tony was a chubby kid with chronic bad breath. He would cry easily when he got a stomach ache and his least favorite day of the year was when we had to run the mile in the gym class.

We were in the third grade and these two boys were the ones we mercilessly picked on. It was natural selection at it's finest. They were always the last ones to have a partner in gym class, they were always the last ones picked for kickball teams at recess and they were the brunt of the game we played in the hall where if you stepped on a crack then you "loved Patrick Crane". We were cruel and I would give anything to have the opportunity to see those two boys (men now) and apologize to them. They probably have scars that will never heal from all the emotional hits they took from us.

In the wake of the VT shootings it has come out that the shooter was a loner and was probably
picked on quite a bit. He was different. Did this cause him to do what he did? Probably not. That is a very complex question that we'll probably never know the answer to, but we have to remember that we have people like him in our churches. Not that we have murderous people waiting to riddle others with bullets, but we have many people who don't fit the perceived social norms for engaging in true community. My schoolyard past and the recent shootings have caused me to reflect on my life, 1) as a parent and 2) as a minister.

As a parent:
How can I foster the Biblical ethic of love in my kids so they don't make the mistakes I did? I can't begin to tell you how angry I would be if I saw my kids treat other kids like I did when I was in elementary school, but also how sad I would be if in a few years when they are in school that they receive this kind of emotional and verbal abuse from others. All we can do it pray, teach, and model. But my past and the recent shootings have served to be a sobering reminder of how important those three (pray, teach, model) are for my kids.

As a minister:
"Do I love those who are hard to love?"

"Am I building a ministry of "cool" people?"

"Do I gravitate toward those who will validate my sense of status?"

"In the church where I work, do we foster a culture of love for those who are unlovable or do we use the world's standards for entrance into community?"

I have to check my heart here. We all need to be ministered to, but I find that it's so much easier to minister to those who I like and would want to be friends with than I do with those people who are more awkward and different. This is only natural, but what is natural is often sinful and counter to God's call for his church and his leaders of that church.

Where do people like Tony and Patrick go to experience the universal need of love? They usually can't go to the world. If our churches are living the great commandment to love and heeding James' admonition to not show favoritism I would hope that The Church would be the place where they find refuge. Is it?