Dear Jack Bauer,
I must say from the outset that your show has proved to be quite entertaining. My wife and I heard all about you from all our friends and how we HAVE to start watching you save the world with a mere cell phone, a flashlight and a 9mm, but I have to confess that we cannot continue to watch it. Our plan was to fire through all 7 seasons on DVD to get caught up for next year, but that plan has been compromised for the following reasons.
1. Your daughter is the dumbest TV character ever created. I can't stomach you saying "I love you baby" to her over and over again when she calls you at the headquarters and you can't talk. Instead of shooting all the bad guys, I think you should have shot Kim long ago for being so dumb. The list of her dumbness is too long to list but I'll give you three: 1) Not calling 911, but Daddy instead when she was in the house with the psycho Dad guy at the end of season 2, 2) going to the scary house in the woods with scary psycho lonely nomad in the hills and 3) the whole plot line of rescuing the little girl and not telling the police anything about psycho Daddy in season two was about at dumb as it gets.
2. Sherry Palmer is the second dumbest character ever created on TV. She is pulled directly from the daytime soaps. I'm sorry, but the former first lady orchestrating a nuclear attack on the the US is just a bit too far fetched for me.
3. Jack you are the toughest guy ever. I get that. I am convinced. This is the problem. I can tell you already what is going to happen in the following 5 seasons. You will save the world all on your own with the simple tools of your world-saving trade, a cell phone and a 9mm (and a little torture here and there).
For these three reasons I'll have to cease my watching. It was good while it lasted. Thanks for the memories.
Sincerely,
Z-Schrute
2 comments:
Just wait until Season 3. Kim takes those high school dropout and nanny skills and parlays them into a job with CTU as a counter-terrorism computer expert.
Believe it.
hilarious, true and i still watch religiously...
"z-schrute" - very funny!
shawn
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