Paleo-Pope-ology

From the Wittenburg blog:

Russian scientists announced the discovery of a superbly preserved baby mammoth carcass more than 10,000 years old. It had been frozen in the Siberia permafrost and was discovered by a reindeer herder.

In other paleontological news, Pope Benedict XVI (seen in his Indiana Jones fossil-hunting attire at right) announced the discovery of two aging Roman Catholic doctrines. One, the Latin Mass, was pulled from the musty file drawers of the Vatican and reissued last week for those that want it. The other, reasserting the universal primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, was unearthed July 10 from the rubble of the Second Vatican Council. It says Orthodox churches are defective and that other Christian denominations are not true churches.

The scientific and religious communities were overjoyed by all these discoveries.

"We're sure that with only small amounts of viable DNA from the primacy document, we can resurrect a theological climate similar to, oh, somewhere close to the late Middle Ages, if not better." a prominent geneticist told BBC news.