Things Not to Say To Your Wife When She Is Ready To Pop From Pregnancy

1. Honey, I don’t mean to alarm you, but have you ever read about anyone actually popping from being so big?
2. Hey Babe, is it OK that I invited some of the guys from work over to see how big you are? They won’t believe me.
3. Honey, come in here and see this horse giving birth on TV. Oh, man that looks like that’s gotta hurt.
4. I challenge you in a touch your toes contest.
5. Honey, I was just straightening up the bedroom…can you tell me if this is a fitted sheet or a pair of your underwear?
6. You’re dreading labor?! Do you know how sore my feet get from standing beside you that whole time?
7. Boy it would be really nice if you went a week or two late so I could watch the six-part mini-series on PBS.
8. No, I couldn’t eat another bite honey. I ate so much I feel…like you.
9. Why don’t you go take a nice, relaxing, hot bath? But don’t put much water in the tub because it’ll overflow when you get in.
10. No, you don’t look huge. “Huge” is such a harsh word…I prefer the term “healthy.”

(HT: Challies)