Discerning Confrontation

In light of the posts from yesterday about sanctification being a corporate pursuit and loving each other enough to be honest about offenses, I found this section from Chris Brauns' new book, "Unpacking Forgiveness" to be helpful:

How do I know when to confront something and when to overlook it?

The short answer is that it is a matter of wisdom or discernment. Each time you are offended, you need to wisely decide whether or not you need to bring it up. Only you can make the decision, but several diagnostic questions can help you work through it.

Here's an outline of the questions:

1. Before confronting, ask, “Have I examined myself yet?”
2. Before confronting, ask, “How sure am I that I am right?”
3. Before confronting, ask, “How important is this?”
4. Before confronting, ask, “Does this person show a pattern of this kind of behavior?”
5. Before confronting, ask, “What do wise people counsel me to do?”
6. Before confronting, ask, “What else is going on in the other person’s world?”

(HT: JT)