In Some Ways This Sounds Pretty Radical To Me. Perhaps That Means I Am Too Autonomous

The prevailing view of life today is that of an individual standing on his or her own, heroically juggling various responsibilities - family, friendships, career, leisure, chores, decisions, and money. We could also add social responsibilities like political activities, campaigning organizations, community groups, and school associations. From time to time the pressures overwhelm us, and we drop one or more of the balls. All too often church becomes one of the balls. We juggle our responsibilities for church (measured predominantly by attendance at meetings) just as we juggle our responsibilities for work or leisure.

An alternative model is to view our various activities and responsibilities as spokes of a wheel. At the center or hub of life is not me as an individual but us as members of the Christian community. Church is not another ball for me to juggle but that which defines who I am and gives Christlike shape to my life. According to this model, Bob and Mary do not drop church. Instead, their life as persons-in-community enables them to retain their sanity! For others in the church , some of their engagements (work, leisure, friendships) will adjust for a season as they share responsibility for the new children. In our experience, people are often enthusiastic about community until it impinges on their decision-making. For all their rhetoric, they still expect to make decisions by themselves for themselves. We assume we are masters of our own lives. "It's my money, it's my life, it's my future, " we say, "so it's my decision." In contrast, in The Crowded House we "expect one another to make decisions with regard to the implications for the church and to make significant decisions in consultation with the church.

They give an example:

Imagine a young couple, Bob and Mary, who are involved in a local congregation. Mary gives birth to twins. Bob and Mary are now facing the prospect of trying to cope with babies, who constantly need feeding and changing. In the first model, juggling the church ball alongside the new family responsibilities becomes impossible. Bob and Mary decide they will have to forget being involved in church activities on anything more than a minimal level for quite some time. So they make a unilateral decision to absent themselves from much of church life.

In the alternative model, it is not only Bob and Mary's issue when the babies are born. It is an issue for the whole church. The congregation takes on some of the responsibility because their identity and life is that of persons-in-community. So perhaps a couple of people go around early each morning to bathe the babies so Bob and Mary can have time together over breakfast. Or someone offers to take Bob to work for a few months so that on the way Bob can sleep or read his Bible, or they can pray together because Bob is not getting much chance to do these things at home. Bob and Mary may not be as involved in the church meetings, but they are more involved than ever in the life of the community.

- Tim Chester and Steve Timmis, Total Church, p. 44-46