Alan E. Kazdin is a frustrated man, and it's America's parents who are frustrating him. These parents are, of all things, prone to use an occasional spanking in disciplining their children. Dr. Kazdin's great frustration is that these parents insist on doing what seems right to them, and thus they are ignoring or rejecting the fact that "science" shows that spankings don't work.Read the rest.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Spare the Rod?
Al Mohler:
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5 comments:
We obey the bible in our discipline and our own scientific research (over 9 years and counting) shows that God is right and the world is wrong. It's beating your child inconsistantly and with anger that bring bad results. Consistant use of biblical discipline, and teaching them about the state of their hearts yields the right result.
I think that too often many Christians emphasize spanking as the only form of punishment. I think this can be harmful as well in that the Bible instructs that we should be CAREFUL to discipline (in Proverbs). Being Careful to discipline, IMO, means keeping in mind whether the punishment will actually do what it is intended to do discipline.
I've known well-meaning Christian parents that spanked their toddlers repeatedly only to have their toddlers not get it and them get more frustrated. Obviously the spankings were not working, but they thought that since they were spanking they were doing God's will.They also failed to explore other discipline methods which may be more age-appropriate. I think we need to be mindful of our children and whether this punishment will be understood and serve it's purpose. A toddler oftentimes sees spanking as getting hit and doesn't know why, where perhaps an older child has the capability of understanding that the spanking is a result of a disobedient action on their part.
I don't agree that spanking should be banned in every state.At the same time I don't think every Christian parent should spank their child for any little action when the child may not gain anything from the punishment.
I spank and have spanked for deliberate disobedience and it has worked every time.
It's actually the only prescribed discipline for a child listed in the bible.
Amy,
I've met parents who have spanked their children appropriately and parents who haven't.
Personally I don't believe a child should be spanked unless they are capable of understanding the reason why they are being spanked (i.e. deliberate disobedience). Yet I have seen parents resort to spanking for any minor offense (some that are somewhat expected for a child of that age)some even as mild as a child unknowingly having an "accident".
I've seen that repeatedly spanking a child for anything from a minor offense to deliberate disobedience can cause the spankings to not serve the purpose to discipline anymore. Children become immune to them, in those cases, and become embittered about them. Where spankings used rarely tend to seem to work much better on some kids because they actually serve as a punishment not as something they get day-in and day-out continuously.
Let's not forget that the Bible also calls us not to provoke anger in our children. Spanking incorrectly can cause anger in children and can do more harm than good.
I totally agree. But when done correctly, as we do in this house, it is very effective. My oldest daughter, when 2 and 3 years old was strong willed to say the least. She needed to be spanked many times a day during that time. Not beaten, or provoked to anger, but spanked and spoken to about her heart. Now, she's 9, and rarely needs it.
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