In seems that in recent days I have become more emotionally moved during my music leading at church. Yesterday, during a couple of the songs I had to actually quit singing to try and hold it together.
I find that these moments usually occur when from up front I can see people pouring out their hearts to God who I know are going through very hard times. To me this is a unique picture of surrender that is characteristic of the authentic Christian life. These people don't have any easy answers yet they press forward by faith with tears. Singing symbolizes humility simply by the act of participating and lifting their voice to Him may seem to be all they have left. It's when I see people choose not to shake their fist at God, but rather take what comes from his hand and trust him all the way exemplified in their broken singing that really moves me deeply. Combine this very meaningful visual picture with the power of great music and Christ-centered lyrics and you have a recipe for this music leader coming unglued.
I am finding that our eschatological hope (when Jesus comes back to make all things right) is a knot on the Christian rope that I have been clinging to much tighter lately. The older I get, the more suffering I see around me and experience in me. What other hope do we have? No wonder people all around us are medicating themselves with booze, sex, money, TV or ultimately suicide. We have to numb the pain somehow I suppose.
For the Christian, we don't seek to numb the pain, but be honest and embrace it, knowing that we follow our Jesus who did the same at the cross. He is uniquely a God who enters into our suffering with us. Even if we don't have all the answers (which we rarely do) we know that there will surely come a day when this mist like life will cease and Jesus will make all things right.
May we be a people who live like we have this hope.
3 comments:
amen. crying with you. thanks for a great time of worship this sunday.
Honestly, sometimes I come to the Sunday service feeling like an open wound. I know that it wouldn't be wise, or even loving, probably, to show that to everyone, but I know I can show it to God, including when I sing. Thanks for reminding me of that, Zach.
intially, during acute suffering, the tears came because of sadness, despair, pain. as time passed, the tears would come suddenly as the words spoke of how great He is and how He never leaves us. i used to try and conceal the tears (like casually scratching my nose :)) but now i sing with tears streaming down my face - not caring who sees. one of the most powerful times i experience is when i am able to go down to the altar and kneel and just sit and pray right in front of the worship band during a LOUD powerful worship song - an experience that removes me from the confines of the worship center - just me and Him. no one else exists at that moment. thank you for loving our daughter.
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