Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Men Loving Each Other? A Helpful Place To Start

Ray Ortlund:

Intensely felt, openly demonstrated love between manly men of God – who wouldn’t want to be a part of that? Three ways to create that culture in our churches:

One, “Outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10). No flippant put-downs. No undercutting. Not even waiting for the next guy to make the first move. But me getting out of my self-concern to lift the next man up with high honor. Doing this verbally, unashamedly.

Two, “Bear with one another” (Colossians 3:13). Not trying to change one another. Who appointed us to that role? Our privilege is to bear with one another’s “weaknesses and oddities, which are such a trial to our patience, . . . to break through to the point where we take joy in [the other man’s quirkiness]” (Bonhoeffer, Life Together, page 101).

Three, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths but only such as is good for building up” (Ephesians 4:29). Nothing could be more unAmerican than denying ourselves our right of free speech. Men of God filter every word by a higher standard. Even if the words wanting to come out of my mouth are factually true, the real question is, Are my words positively helping the man listening?

Manly men of God loving one another intensely and openly are a life-enriching social environment.

(HT: Tim Challies)

1 comment:

Mike said...

Regarding the first one (honor). Something that has often troubled me is involving myself in "flippant put-downs" with the guys. It's done out of love and fun, but when I look at the situation later, I realize it was (or could be construed as) dishonoring. How would you suggest godly men involving ourselves with fun humor, yet remaining honorable and honoring? Thanks!