Thursday, January 07, 2010

The Bible and the Pain of Infertility

Jason Kovacs:
Years ago when my wife and I were dealing with infertility the Lord used this article ‘The Bible and the Pain of Infertility by By Kimberly Monroe and Philip Monroe’ to minister to us both deeply. I contacted the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF) and they graciously gave permission to make it available. I really believe this will serve many others as it served us in our struggle. This article is also one of the most helpful resources for how to help those dealing with infertility. Click here to download the full pdf.

Here is why this is such an important topic:
In one study, 63% of women who experienced both infertility and divorce rated their infertility as more painful than their divorce. In another study, women who experienced either chronic or life-threatening diseases ranked the emotional pain of infertility at similar levels to that of terminal illness.
Dealing with infertility is hard. Your Godgiven desire to have children is thwarted. As you grow up, people say to you, “When you get married and have your kids….” Everyone assumes fertility.
Infertility shatters your identity. You have a picture in your mind. You are married. You have a house with a white picket fence. You have a minivan and a big dog. But where are the children? Infertility shatters this rosy picture.
Infertility is often misunderstood. People take it lightly. A person with a chronic disease or terminal illness gets support from all those around them. But to a couple struggling with infertility, these same people offer platitudes. “Count all your blessings.” If one couple says they want kids, another says, “Take mine!”
One in six couples struggles with infertility. One in four couples over the age of thirty-five struggles with infertility. In your church, in your workplace, in your circle of friends, couples struggle with infertility. These couples need your support and care.
To read the whole article as a pdf click here.


Liz said...

As a never-married, single woman moving quickly into her mid-40s, I greatly understand the pain of infertility (and I recommend this and all ccef materials!). I may or may not be infertile from a biological perspective, but the effect is the same - all those normal assumptions and expectations for life turned out not to be met. While I don't have to face the relational struggles that infertility can bring to a couple who struggles, I (and other similarly situated single women of a certain age)have our own struggles. People say similar things - joking about both kids and husbands, essentially turning my pain into an occassion for a little light humor. It has taught me to be careful that I don't do this to others.

Samantha said...

Thank you for posting this. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost 6 years now. Sometimes it feels so lonely because no one seems to truly understand the pain of trying to get pregnant, seeing everyone getting pregnant around us, and trying to stay hopeful. I will treasure this article!!

Alena said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post. The PDF helped me so much to know that I am not alone in my anger or sadness.