The Ache of Foster Care

Some dear friends of mine recently have taken two little girls into their home.  They are 5 and 6 years old.  Things have not gone well.  Imagine living a life for five years with zero boundaries and then being placed in a home that is patient, loving, and grace-filled, but has firm boundaries.  How would you feel?  Of course you would freak out.  And freak out they have.  Screaming fits for hours, empty haunted eyes, and constant rebellion against their new Mom and Dad.  I talked to my friend after they had been in the house for about 18 hours and he already sounded completely worn out and weary. 

Sexual abuse is most likely in their past. 

Their biological mother is checked out and doesn't care to be involved.  

As a Christian parent, how do you discern how to handle this situation?  They have three other children of their own of similar ages and the days grow long from constant correction, redirection, and listening to screaming.  Of course there are no pat answers and one must weigh all the individual factors that are specific to these girls and my friends. 

On the one hand one can see how these parents would say that enough is enough at some point.  If there is sexual abuse, demonic oppression, and other horrors going on in the lives of these children it may reach a point where the situation demands a different set of caretakers with different expertise and experience.  By faith, they can know that God gives them freedom to seek a different place for these girls. 

But on the other hand, where else are these girls going to go?  Who else is going to have more grace, patience, and The Gospel that brings freedom?  Some may read this and be more resolved than ever to never do foster care or adoption.  It can be too hard.  But who else, if not Christians, are going to seek to help these orphans?  The government?  No thanks.  Who else is going to break the cycle of destruction and dysfunction in the lives of the poor girls?  Bearing a cross is hard and redemption is very costly.  Welcome to Christianity. 

Christians should be on the front lines for situations like this but certainly a parent has to discern when enough is enough and move on from the situation when it has taken too much of a toll on the rest of the family.  My friends are bearing a serious cross now for these girls.  I believe that God has called them to it but he may be calling them out of it as well.  Will you pray for them that they would have wisdom in this situation to know what to do? 

I am praying deeply for my friends that they would have day by day discernment amidst the horror and that God would lead them as they lead these beautiful girls.  May they joyfully and tearfully bear the cross of continuing to seek the redemption of these tortured souls or may they have guilt free wisdom to know that they need to find different family provision for them.  May the God of grace and peace break into this situation and shine his light.