- Lyle Dorsett, A Passion for God: The Spiritual Journey of A. W. Tozer
With a burning desire to learn and a keen sense of educational inadequacy, Tozer began to devote long hours to reading. He not only read a lot, his mind was preoccupied when he was home, as he continually sorted out ideas and wrote articles in his mind when he could not be alone to put them on paper.
By early 1928 the Tozers had a routine. Aiden found his fulfillment in reading, preparing sermons, preaching, and weaving travel into his demanding and exiting schedule, while Ada learned to cope. She dutifully washed, ironed, cooked, and cared for the little ones, and developed the art of shoving her pain deep down inside. Most of the time she pretended there was no hurt, but when it erupted, she usually blamed herself for not being godly enough to conquer her longing for intimacy from an emotionally aloof husband.
, p. 81(HT: KD)
Passion for one thing can be all consuming. I can certainly relate to this. Is not passion for God something that should be greatly commended? Certainly. Maybe Tozer should have stayed single. I don't know. But I do that know that I should check in with my wife and ask her if she see's this tendency in me.
5 comments:
Zach, great blog. That really struck me when I read the Tozer biography. I grew up in the Christian & Missionary Alliance (Tozer was an Alliance pastor). The quote that really stood out at the end was after Tozer died and his widow remarried a man whose name (if I recall correctly) was Walter. She was quoted to the effect that, "Aiden loved Jesus, but Walter loves me." Ouch.
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" - Ephesians 5:25
"If you love me, you will keep my commandments." - John 14:15
Part of being deeply in love with Christ is obeying his commands. Tozer was an amazing man who's heart was obviously sold-out for Christ, but why couldn't he have lived that life ALONG-SIDE his wife rather than having two parallel, and non-intersecting, lives? A man and a wife are one flesh - and thus should endeavor to pursue Christ was great abandon, TOGETHER. This was obviously a sin area for him and is something anyone who is married must watch out for.
As a wife, I see this tendency in... everyone. Including myself!
I was reading about aspberger's syndrome the other night and I'm not exactly sure it's really a syndrome rather than just a personality thing... but wow, how easily I can identify with some of the traits, and how I see the same traits in a lot of people like this. It doesn't excuse sin, but it could be something as simple as just a different mindset, different way of thinking about things. A particular version of the thorn in the flesh if you will.
Then again, I hear the same thing echoing from many many wives and I wonder if that is just part of learning to be content with each others' shortcomings.
also, not intending to minimize the pain of this - because it is very painful to feel ignored by those you love. But at the same time, when I feel ignored I remember that I do similar things, I don't meet people's needs as I should, I overlook people, and certainly when I attempt to meet needs, I don't always do it the way they want me to. I am also a sinner that doesn't really deserve the blessings that I have been given in the first place. My relationships are mostly without turmoil. Is that not something to be very grateful for? Should I be pining because my husband doesn't make efforts to sweep me off my feet (and never really did?) We are at peace, we are committed to each other, we don't bully and threaten each other, and we are safe with each other. Is that not a great blessing more than any of us deserve? It could be so much worse.
Perhaps much of this is because we have unrealistic relationship expectations based on romantic notions of marriage that just don't correspond to human reality. If Tozer wasn't so focused, he would have been short in some other area that was equally distressing or perhaps more so, at least that's what I figure.
HUGE. Absolutely crucial. Thanks for passing this along.
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