Russell Moore:
The couple will typically tell me first about how stressful their lives are. Maybe he’s lost his job. Perhaps she’s working two. Maybe their children are rowdy or the house is chaotic. But usually, if we talk long enough about their fracturing marriage, there is a sense that something else is afoot. The couple will tell me about how their sex life is near extinction. The man, she’ll tell me, is an emotional wraith, dead to intimacy with his wife. The woman will be frustrated, with what seems to him to be a wild mixture of rage and humiliation. They just don’t know what’s wrong, but they know a Christian marriage isn’t supposed to feel like this.
It’s at this point that I interrupt the discussion, look at the man, and ask, “So how long has the porn been going on?” The couple will look at each other, and then look at me, with a kind of fearful incredulity that communicates the question, “How do you know?” For a few minutes, they seek to reorient themselves to this exposure, wondering, I suppose, if I’m an Old Testament prophet or a New Age psychic. But I’m not either. One doesn’t have to be to sense the spirit of this age. In our time, pornography is the destroying angel of (especially male) Eros, and it’s time the Church faced the horror of this truth.
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1 comment:
I struggled with porn off and on for a few months. It was innocent searching of something non-sex related but a picture popped up and I was curious. I felt horrible and cried because I hurt for what I did but also for what I saw - women who looked like they hated the act they were doing. I felt so wicked and asked God for forgiveness as well as my husband. My husband didn't make a big deal out of it. It was like it was nothing. A few months later I found pictures on our computer. I confronted him but it was as if he did nothing wrong. I am almost positive my husband still looks at images on the computer but I can't prove it. I can't allow myself to think about any of it because I get so very angry. I felt wretched, embarrassed and covered in sin when I stumbled. My husband seems to act like it is nothing. He says he knows it is wrong and I have begged him to come to me when he is struggling (as I would go to him when I struggled). I decided that if I find something on the computer again then I will approach our Pastor. I may even leave our marriage of almost two decades. I feel like if I stay then I am telling him I am willing to put up with it. I think if he approached it like it was more serious than he thinks then I could be more understanding. But he doesn't approach it like that. He is too proud of a man.
Porn is wicked and of the devil. I hate it, hate that we humans are drawn to it and hate that it destroys who we are.
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