Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Men Who Wait in the Car

Jared Wilson:

One thing I have noticed at the food pantry where I volunteer is that nine times out of ten a woman comes in to receive food, her male significant other waits in the car. I know this because he and I make awkward eye contact when I help the ladies carry groceries to the car.
I have mixed feelings about this arrangement. Part of me understands why they'd wait outside. It could be that they don't figure "getting groceries" is their area. It is also a particularly male dysfunction to want to avoid asking for help. There is perhaps the shame of acknowledging they couldn't provide for their family. I remember the heartbreaking scene in Cinderella Man when James Braddock finally breaks down to ask friends for a handout. He is a proud man who only goes there as a last resort -- and when he violates his own conscience and receives government assistance he promises to pay every penny back, and does -- and therein lies a good sort of pride.
But is it really a good sort of pride?
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