Reflections On a Father/Son Week Away

Last Saturday my son Taylor and I returned home from a week away with six other Dads and eight other boys for a Father/Son trip to the Black Hills. It was an amazing time of teaching our boys what it means to be men who love Jesus. We dubbed it, The Fellowship of the Sword and Trowel. The name comes from Nehemiah 4 where they are rebuilding the wall with a sword and trowel. They are ready to fight and defend and also ready to build. We used this picture as a starting point for what it means to be man who is pursuing God and being pursued by God.

A few reflections:

1. Spending quantity and quality time watching other Dad's parent their boys was greatly encouraging. There are many ways where I need to grow as a parent and these men sharpened me. This was a huge blessing for me and my son.

2. Having other godly men speak into the life of my son is very valuable. My son knows that I love him dearly but there is simply a difference when another man in our community gives him a word of encouragement or a correction. Words from me have the temptation to be "ordinary" since he is with me all the time. We experienced some really sacred times of encouragement from Dads to boys who were not their sons.

3. Almost all of the guys on this trip were pastors and it was great to be away with other men and not have to be "leading" but simply soaking in peer relationships. I love leading but sometimes having some downtime from it is a good thing.

4. I got to have some amazing camp experiences when I was a kid. I also had the privilege to have one the best youth pastor's that God ever created. These two things were the means God used to make me a Christian. But all that to say, I never got to experience an amazing trip like this with my Dad. That is not to fault my Dad. He did a great job as a parent. It's just to be reminded that this past week with our boys was very unique. It was kind of like all the blessings of your usual spaz youth group trip but getting to do it with your Dad. Right now our boys are still at the age where this is a really cool thing. I assume that if we make it the norm it might not ever stop being "cool". At least we are praying in the direction.

5. Other men got to watch me parent my boy and this created an immediate context for accountability without a word being said. But it also created a unique opportunity for me to seek feedback from them about my parenting. Did they see anything that I could do better? Was my tone of voice life giving for him? Was I ever too short with him? From your perspective, how could I grow as a parent?

6.  This should be trickling down to our local churches.  Why do we not have rites of passage in our culture?  Why do we bend the knee to the cultural idea of "adolescence"?  How can we mutually encourage godly mascunlinity from men to boys in our local churches?  How can we bless the single moms in our congregations with something like this?  Boys will find a definition of manhood somewhere.  Will it be there right one?

I also got some great pictures.