Reflections on Marriage in America

Guest blog by Jason Wredberg.

Yesterday I read the latest findings of Pew Research Center and while it saddened me, it also caused me to pause and contemplate what my response as a pastor of a young congregation ought to be. I have now had the privilege of serving as a pastor in two different church plants. In both churches our membership covenant has contained the following statement:

We will promote marriage as a reflection of Christ’s relationship with his church.


The emphasis of the statement can rightly be found in two places. We will promote marriage and we will promote it as a reflection of Christ’s relationship with His church. This is not simply a theological statement connecting the marriage relationship to Christ’s relationship with His bride. Simply put, it is also the job of the church the promote marriage!
But how? Let me offer a few practical suggestions for how pastors and the churches they serve can promote marriage.

• Connect the reality of the gospel to the marriage relationship—constantly. If the truth that marriage is a reflection of God’s love for them in Christ is not thoroughly embedded in the hearts and minds of the married couples in your church, then you have failed in laying a foundation for lasting, joy-filled, Jesus-exalting, persevering marriages in your church.
• Exalt the beauty and joy of marriage as God’s idea and teach children from a young age that marriage is a gift of God’s grace that should be sought after as a great treasure.
• Invest time and resources in things that will bring attention to the marriage relationship and help equip men and women to navigate through both the blessings and difficulties of married life.
• Encourage and equip parents to be aware of how their own marriage will form their children’s perception of the marriage relationship. I would contend that in the daily momentum of life, most parents don’t think about what they are communicating to their children about marriage.
• Prepare young men and women as they begin thinking about marriage more seriously. Teach them what the Bible says about marriage and honestly confront any unbiblical ideas they have embraced about relationships in general and marriage in particular.
• Create a culture that intentionally shepherds married couples from their time of dating/courting through pre-marital counseling and into the first years of their marriage. Too many struggling couples have the sense that no one else has ever experienced what they are going through.
• Pray. Pray for your children. Pray for your students and single church members. Pray for your men and women preparing for marriage and those that have just exchanged their vows. Pray for young couples and old. Pray for wisdom. Pray for protection. Pray for grace and humility. Pray and don’t stop.