Wednesdays Were Pretty Normal - An Interview with Michael Kelley

Michael Kelley is a good friend from my Nashville days.  Back then he was a college pastor at a local church with strong communication gifts.  Soon after we left Nashville, Michael and Jana found out that that their young son had cancer.  It was heartbreaking.  Years later, Michael has written a book that deals with these this season of their lives.  You'll definitely want to check it out.

Here is a brief interview with Michael.

1. How has watching your son endure cancer changed you and your family? 

That's a big question. It might be more of the case of how has it "not" changed us. For me, I think the day Joshua was diagnosed was the day I actually became an adult. Up until then, I had the luxury to sort of play at life, and even play at theology. But when Joshua was sick, it brought an incredible seriousness to life - to marriage, to parenting, to work, really everything. For us as a family, it's really become one of the biggest things that's made us who we are. In a lot of ways, we feel like God has given us this story and it's our job to try and steward it well. 

2. Facing the potential death of a child is unspeakably horrific. When were the darkest hours? 

I have a really vivid memory of 2 things. I remember when Joshua was hooked up to a morphine drip because the pain was so bad, and him waking up every hour in the hospital crying and not being able to comfort him. One night in particular, we watched "Barney's Puppy Love" about 17 times just trying to make it until the sun comes up. That was a dark night. 

I also remember a couple of times trying to hold it together long enough to get out of the hospital room, walking into my office at work, closing the door and laying down in the floor and crying.

It wasn't at either one of those times that we necessarily thought we would lose Joshua. But I think now it was just a sense of loss in general because of how much life had changed. Loss of dreams, loss of joy, loss of time - much, much loss. 

3. What do you feel is unique about this book that Christians need to consider? 

I think there are many books that try and reconcile biblically the goodness and grace of God and the brokenness of the world and the suffering of His people. These are good books.

What I hope separates this book from others is the fact that this book is not meant to explain that tension at all. It's rather an acceptance of it. It's an attempt to describe believing with the full knowledge and experience that we will all, inevitably, experience that brokenness. We certainly don't have it all figured out. I do think, though, that we all have a choice about what to do with our pain and disappointment. It can either stall your walk with the Lord, or it can push you deeper into it. 

4. What do you want this book to accomplish? Why did you write it? 

The first reason to write it was because I honestly thought it was my job to do so. I think God wants us to be stewards of our experiences and stories as much as our money and time. So the book is an attempt to steward what we've been given responsibly and well.
But I also think that there are many, many people who, having experienced something like cancer, have been existing without pressing into that experience. They just gritted their teeth and tried to get past it. My hope is that, through this book, many people might press deeply into their own experiences and find that despite their painful circumstances, God was not only with them, but was actually hurting alongside them in a deeper way than they were. 

5. No one wants to endure suffering, but looking back, what have been the blessings? 

There have been many. I think my wife and I know and support and love each other more now. I think I love being a father and the responsibility that means more now. And I hope I am more reliant and dependent on the Lord now.

Get Michael's book here.