Ever said this to yourself?
With all this adoption stuff flying around our house since last Sunday night, we have been finding ourselves asking this question quite a bit lately. Two examples:
Early Tuesday morning after we got the news that this baby could be ours if we could just round up the money in about 24 hours, my wife rolled over in bed at 4am and said, "Are you awake?" Of course I was. Sleep has been a bit tough to come by with the sudden realization that we could have a fourth child very soon. Are we really going to do this? What are we doing?
Tuesday afternoon after the adoption was verbally official with the people in Alabama, we were off the phone for about 2 seconds before it seemed that our three kids all decided to simultaneously lose their minds. Can we really deal with four kids under the age of 6? What are we doing?
This is not second guessing our adoption in the least, but rather just feeling the weight of the enormity of what God has called us to. Temporal emotions are sometimes nearer to the surface than our deeply rooted sense of calling. It's not a question of doubt but rather one of an assured sobering weightiness.
I'm sure Abraham felt this way ask he marched up the hill to sacrifice his covenant child.
I'm sure Moses felt this way being a guy who couldn't talk well and yet was called to command the most powerful man in the world to get a new plan for slavery in his kingdom.
I'm sure Paul probably asked himself this question numerous times as he was shipwrecked at sea.
The Biblical examples go on and on.
Lately it has occurred to me that we should probably be asking ourselves this question a bit MORE if we are actually laying our lives down for the Gospel. The Bible says that the disciples immediately dropped everything and followed Jesus. Sounds pretty radical to me in light of what they were leaving behind. Sadly, in my comfortable, control driven life, I don't ask myself the question of "What am I doing?" nearly enough.
Certainly if you are habitually asking yourself this question it could just be an indication that you are painfully unwise, but compared with the hyper-control I have over my life these days I think I am pretty far removed from this danger.
I pray for the faith to live like this more. I also pray our churches would be full of people who are living lives that are so on the edge that times of uneasiness are the norm. May this drive us to our knees in dependence and forward with great faith for the cause of love.
6 comments:
Just remember God won't give you more then you can handle. He wants to grow you more like Him and through challenges we become more dependent on the one who created us.
Praying for peace as you move forward with the adoption of your beautiful daughter. Enjoy the ride!!
Wow. Great thoughts. I should be living "so on the edge" that I am constantly aware of my dependence on Christ.
Thanks, Zach. That was exactly what I needed today.
Zach:
I so appreciate you and Kim willing to listen to Him and go for it!
Now go forward and lean heavily on the King of Kings, the only Sovereign God-the blessed controller of all things...
I'll be praying and am anxious to meet little Mya.
Maren
Thank you, seriously, for this post, Zach. I will be praying for you and your family, that God would continue to strengthen and sustain you during this time, and that He would would make this transition to four small children as smooth as possible (in his plan of sanctification, which is often not very smooth, for our good and His glory!).
I am being called to do some objectively good things in my life now (called directly by people-- not a hard-to-discern, possibly subjective thing) that frankly have me a bit scared and nervous. God is stretching me, challenging me, and calling me to face some of the very things in my life that I most fear-- which is *good,* because I don't want to fear them *more than God* any longer.
Thank you for the reminder that God works through scared and nervous people, both in the Bible and today, for His ultimate glory! I needed that! I think I'll even print it out and refer back to it in the future, Lord willing!
Well said, Zach. I admire you and Kim as you walk by faith and not by sight. Al Mohler, in a recent message, challenged students by calling this year, "The Year of Living Dangerously." I have to think this kind of phrase wouldn't even need to be said in earlier days ... but we are comfortable, too comfortable here. Thanks for the challenge of your words and life and I'll pray for you in these coming days. God will go with you and before you.
Here's Mohler's message if you're interested ...http://www.sbts.edu/MP3/fall2008/20080821mohler.mp3
I had to come over here from the Rush's blog and check this out for myself...really unbelievable. I can only imagine how your daughter will feel in the years to come when she finds out how purposefully and miraculously God placed her with you and Kim. I am so encouraged just by knowing you guys! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
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