Focus on Her Less, Focus on Her More

I am preaching this Sunday on male headship in marriage from Ephesians 5:25-33.  One of my closing exhortations is that in order to spiritually lead well in the home men need to focus on their wives less and focus on them more.

Focus on her less:

When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. Insofar as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.

- C. S. Lewis, Letters of C.S. Lewis (8 November, 1952)

Focus on her more:

Ready for some profound insight?  Ready?  Ready...?   Just ask her how you are doing in the area of spiritual leadership and how you can do it better.  Sit her down, get out a notepad, and listen well to the answers to these questions:

Ask her, “The text says that Jesus “cherishes” the church in Eph. 5:29. Do you feel like I cherish you? How could I make you feel more cherished by me?”

Ask her, “How could I lead you better spiritually?”

Ask her, “Do you feel as though I have your spiritual flourishing on my mind?”