Don't Place a Fence Where God Has Not

Mark Altrogge:

Recently, someone told me their church had instituted a new “courtship policy.” The policy contains some of the following “guidelines.”

• When a young man is interested in someone he should first meet with a married leader in the church for counsel.
• If the leader gives the go ahead, the young man should go to the young lady’s father (whether he’s a believer or not) and ask for his blessing on the young man cultivating a relationship with his daughter.
• If the father doesn’t agree, they should wait until he does, unless they are adults not living with or dependent on their parents.
• If the father approves, someone should assign a married couple in the church to hold them accountable and give regular reports on the relationship to the elders.
• The couple should try to discern as quickly as possible if it’s God’s will for them to be married, get a date on the calendar and begin to take appropriate steps toward marriage.
• If they can’t set a date, they should not be in a relationship.

I assume the leaders’ motives are to encourage purity and protect young men and women from falling into sexual sin.

But we have to be careful to distinguish between principle and practice.

Read the rest.  The applications of this flow well beyond courtship and dating.  This is a big deal.