The Onion:
No one denies that LeBron James is a phenomenal young talent who has turned in some almost supernaturally good performances, but he's still generally unloved by fans. Here's why:
- Skills second only to Kobe, touch second only to Bird, vision second only to Magic, and strength second only to Russell; therefore, pretty much a worthless second-rater
- Was supposed to be the next Jordan, but chose friendship over a monomaniacal obsession with winning bordering on mental illness
- Does this really annoying thing where he isn't always playing on Team USA and is instead playing for the Heat so then you have to root against him
- Significant percentage of sports fans are jealous of his high school diploma
- Abandoned and gave up on Cleveland, albeit decades after the rest of us did
- Makes us feel guilty for never doing anything to make Cleveland better ourselves
- Dunked over the pope at last year’s St. Peter's Basketbasilica Jamfest, even though the game was already out of hand
- Televising The Decision repelled and frightened the American public, most of whom have spent their whole lives trying to avoid making decisions
- Basically, it's easier not to really think about it
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